When I
became a mother, I was swept away by surprise because I became mother
to this stunning tiny thing. I spent long hours simply staring at her.
Wondering what I would do with her. I was her closest link to the world
that she has just entered into.
Wondering what we are going to do with this life together.
I had no idea what kind of a mother I was cut out to be. But I could see the enormous human
being looking back at me with this surge of love I had never been
looked at like that before. I could tell that behind that soft sweet
smelling skin was a tenacious woman.
She made me drop my plans for
my life, swerve and and take turns, yet hold on to me and who I was
becoming along this journey we took on together.
She made me want
to endure whatever came, do whatever it takes, face the worst storms
just to be there to be her mother. Because being her mother was what my
purpose became to be.
Less than two years later, another stunner turned up out of me.
For me, now, simply weathering storms and facing the music was not
going to be enough. I now had two amazing humans to groom to be able to
let loose on this earth and I was determined to make their home a home
that they could learn that they can make a difference on this earth and
make it a better world. Because they made my world so much better.
I
have made plenty of mistakes in my being a mother. I have made big
large boo-boos and some of the things I have done were just not thought
through. Mistakes that are scars on them.
My mistakes were and are
still being made in my love for these people. I do not second think what
the consequences are for what I am doing, because whatever I am about
to do is the best I can do for them. And when one is doing something,
mistakes are a byproduct that cannot be avoided. The bigger the
something, the bigger the mistakes sometimes.
I have always asked them to forgive me and will continue to do so. They know this.
They on their own have also made some small, some huge mistakes in
being daughters to me. They too have mistreated me and challenged me in
their growing up, wanting to be freed of this relentless mother, no
doubt. And I forgive them over and over, always will. Because they did
those things to the only one to whom they could. To the one who would
take it and love them no matter what, and still never give up on them.
I have two fearless women in my life today who swim the seas of life
with me, through my tribulations and troubles and my successes and
triumphs. I have these two women who make it right for me, no matter
what hits me or what makes me fly higher. Today I see the same tiny
stunners, and now I see even their purpose in life. Purposes that will
drive them and help and soothe them so that soon even the scars will be
fading, just like my purpose of being their mother did for me, my scars
already have faded.
They have become profound mothers to their
little brother, each with her special touch, helping me mould this young
lad into an amazing man.
Given the uncertainty of this life, one
thing is certain, I do not need a Mother's day to say this to them. They
make everyday that I am a mother a Happy Mother's Day for me.
Written By Tasnim Jivaji
24th April 2013
